Life With A Blonde Teenager…
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.
Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …
Me: Close enough.
—by Robert Alvarez, author of Blonde Moments: Life with a Blonde Teenage Daughter
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Steve Martin on Success
Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.
Steve Martin
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Q: What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
A: Lost.
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Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Q: Where do sharks go on their holidays?
A: Finland.
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What does a pepper do when it’s angry?
It gets jalapeño face!
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Bonnie McFarlane on The Toughest Language…
I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.
Bonnie McFarlane
