Author: Michael Beauchamp

1. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

2. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

3. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

4. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

5. Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

6. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.

For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

7. Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Control Freak.

Con…

OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

8. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

9. A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

10. I invented a new word!

Plagiarism!