Category: Lawyer

Dumb Questions from Lawyers

The following questions by lawyers were taken from actual court documents in America:

• “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”

•  “Now doctor, is it not true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”

• Q: “What happened then?”
  A: “He told me, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.'”
  Q: “And did he kill you?”

• “Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

• “The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?”

• “Were you alone or by yourself?”

• “Do you have any children or anything of that kind?”

• Q: “I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?”
  A: “That’s me.”
  Q: “Were you present when he picture was taken?”

• “Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?”

• Q: “Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated ?”
  A: “By death.”
  Q: “And by whose death was it terminated?”

• Q: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”
  A: “I’ll be three months on November 8th.”
  Q: “Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
  A: “Yes.”
  Q: “What were you doing at that time?

• “So you were gone until you returned?”

• Q: “She had three children right?”
  A: “Yes.”
  Q: “How many were boys?”
  A: “None.”
  Q: “Were there any girls?”

• “Mrs. Jones, how many times have you committed suicide?”

• “You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?”

• Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
  A: “Yes.”
  Q: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

• Q: “Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?”
  A: “The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.”
  Q: “And Mr. Edington was dead at that time?”