The Wonder Of Having Sons…

This is funny, even if you don’t have boys!

For those of you who were fortunate to have daughters ONLY, be glad…

Be very, very glad…

And you also find out very interesting things when you have sons, like…

  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
  5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh-oh”, it’s already too late.
  8. Brake fluid mixed with White King makes smoke, and lots of it.
  9. A 6-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
  11. “Play Dough” and “microwave” should not be used in the same sentence.
  12. Super Glue is forever.
  13. No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you  still can’t walk on water.
  14. Pool filters do not like jelly.
  15. VCRs do not eject Peanut Butter & Jam sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
  20. The fire department in East Melbourne has a 3-minute response time.
  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  24. 80% of women will [as this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
  25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the White King and brake fluid. (And 0.01% of women.)

Photos Timed Perfectly.

It’s always great to see a funny photo and these ones could not have been timed any more perfectly, just that split second can make a boring image into some-thing quite special:

water cannon, face, crazy dance

1.  Do you think this guy was expecting this water cannon to the face so he did the crazy walk to try and make it look cool? Either way it probably shocked him half to death.

bird, giant, giant bird, A;lfred Hitchcock

2. It’s like Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ meets Godzilla. ”There’s giant birds taking over the world!”

darth vader, darth vader head, giant

3.   How was this one even possible? I think we now all want a building with a giant Darth Vader head on it.

dog, treat. funny

4.   “Oh my gosh! TREAT! TREAT! TREAT! Wait that’s going to hit me….. OUCH!… woof!”

fall, water, walk on water

5.   “I will prove to you I can hand stand on the water!” – “Jesus,  I think you’ve got a brother!”

dog, mate, funny, 2 dimensional

6.   This dog is probably like most teenage boys. Can only find a mating partner that’s 2 dimensional.

parrot, creepy, camera

7.   Despite being a little creepy, this parrot seems like he’s saying “I demand to know what this freakish device is!”

monkey, human,

8.   Monkey’s and humans really are similar. I wonder if he forgot how to function normally afterwards like a shy human would.

confused, suit, dress

9.   Maybe he’s confused. “I have to wear my suit but dammit I want to wear my perky blue dress!”

horse, rider, centaur

10. “Centaurs? PFFFT. They’re nothing compared to me. I have opposable thumbs!”

people, butterfly, mask, freaky

11. People would probably wear a butterfly mask. Freaky sometimes though.

fall, water, pool, face, later, joke, funny

12. One millisecond later and her face would have been totally different. Hope that joke was worth it.

cat, cute, love heart

13. This seems cute at first until you realise the cats are just rubbing their butts together.

magic, soccer, manager, gif

14. Magic soccer manager or really clever graphics guy on the TV? I chose magic!